The consensus among experts confirm that one of the reasons for violence in society is agression towards children in their early years. More so when children are physically abused. Luckily, most parents are not towards such extremism but many do not realise that harmless spanking is a silent catalyst that teaches children the use of aggression and violence to solve problems in life.

A child’s irrational temper and tantrum, especially when it’s accompanied by loud crying and wailing, drive parents up the wall. I should know better because I’ve been guilty of spanking her twice before. I remember I first smacked her, although so very softly, at around 7 months. It was way past bedtime that night but baby Clarisse was in a really cranky mood and refuses to sleep. Frustration came over me. My gentle-approach mom came into the bedroom, gave me a piece of her mind and cared for baby Clarrisse while I took some time off. Some really needed time off I’d say. The second incident was more or less the same.

The first hurdle for parents is to not develop the habit of spanking your children thinking it’s just a way to let them know momma or papa is angry and think they’ll get the message. If spanking is a proven approach to childcare passed down through the generations, it’s time to put this family tradition at rest. Take down the ‘Spare the rod, spoil the child’ poster while you’re at it.

The rod was never meant to teach children anything but pain, intimidation and fear. It doesn’t speak out to them about differentiating right from wrong. Smacking too is not an effective way to discipline your child. Children refrain from misdeamenours due to fear of getting smacked or caned is simply so, the fear of being smacked or caned. If the risk of physical punishment escapes them, they’ll just repeat those same old misdemeanours.

Bringing up your children by having them fear you is quite heartbreaking. I mean, I’ve seen with my own eyes how my neighbour with a cane in hand, chasing down his children even out on the road to whip them. Nevermind how embarassing his children must’ve felt at that moment, I bet if this sort of extreme physical punishment is dished out constantly, hatred and disrespect for their parents will manifest.

Smacking also leaves a lasting impression on children and it’s usually the worst kind. It teaches them violence is one way to resolve matters. They might grow up to view acts of force as the best way to settle disputes instead of using less forceful ways to deal with frustration or anger.