When should parents overrule teenagers’ privacy?

Posted on Wednesday, February 13th, 2008 under Parenting. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

Do you search your child’s schoolbag? Run through his drawers? Or monitor his computer usage trails?

One of the more difficult stages of parent/child relationships occur during the teenage period. Boundaries as to where your teenager’s privacy should be respected is such a tough thing to do. As children grows, they’ll start to assert independence. They’ll want more time privately by themselves. They’ll want to make decisions independently.

What worries every teenage parents is the type of friends they choose to hang out with. Being involved with wrong friends is every parents nightmare. The group of friends could lead your child to the mall, the library or just as easily to detention centres and drug treatment facilities.

So your kid wants his privacy? Give it to him but set the record straight immediately that privacy and boundaries are a priviledge. It will be based on trust and mutual respect. Once broken, you have every right to put it on hold.

When do parents have the right to intervene? When is it right for us to invade their privacy? If you ask me, I think that parents should step in when it is a matter of safety to your child. As parents, you should know your child best. You should be able to detect if your child is lying or acting suspicious.

Experts agree that if your actions is compelled by your responsibilities as a parents - to keep your child safe - then you have good reason to overrule your childs’ privacy. After all, if the safety of your children is not a top priority, what else is there to consider?

Jo writes ...

From personal experience, i find that teens get into more trouble when their parents are constantly telling them “no”, then the thing in question becomes a sort of taboo, and we all know that what we can’t have, we want more. What parents need to learn to do is sit their child down and explain about the situation, why it is advisable that they not do it, give them the dangers about it, and let them make up their own mind. Speaking from the perspective of a teen, the more trust a parent gives a teen, the less the chance that the teen is going to go overboard, because they know they have a choice and that their parent respects that choice.

April 6th, 2008 at 5:03 pm

Mr. Child Safety writes ...

I agree with you that kids need to understand that privacy is a privilege and my folks always taught me that privileges must be earned.

I’m a big fan of drafting up a contract with a child that sets rules and must be signed by both parent and child. If that contract is broken then the child’s privileges and privacy are revoked.

June 5th, 2008 at 11:35 am