Ever since my baby Clarisse was born, everyone says I’m going to spoil my baby just because I pick her up and sooth her everytime she cries. Yes, I can’t leave my baby crying without attending to her, and this made us an easy target for opiniated individuals. It’s so easy to jump to conclusions. They are entitled to their opinions but I beg to differ.

You’ve probably heard that studies shown babies less than 6 months old end up crying less when they get a quick and consistent response everytime they cry. By responding to your baby’s cry, they get a sense of being secure and their needs would be met by loving adults. A sense of trust between guardians and babies would grow which makes them feel safe. Hence, babies will grow up to be more confident, independent and eager to learn and explore.

Well that doesn’t apply to my baby Clarisse anymore as she is now 7 1/2 months old. And boy, does she insists on things going her way sometimes. Showing her anger, throwing her tantrums whenever she refuses something. Is she a spoilt baby then? Who knows. As a matter of fact, this is when the spoiling starts. In other words, babies start to understand and exploit their parent’s attention. When babies approaches middle of their first year, they will start to realise their needs will be met by the parents. It’s also high time to let them know not all their needs or demands can be met, especially unreasonable ones.

You have to realise that when babies cry, it isn’t always a sign of distress. Spent enough time with an infant, you’ll begin to distinguish the types of crying and the message she’s trying to convey – hunger cries, exhaustion, overstimulation and a range of other feelings. Therefore you are not required to rush and pick her up, entertain her and keep her amused everytime she cries. If parents couldn’t tell which cries to attend to and pick her up everytime she cries, the baby might get into a habit of needing to be held all the time. Babies need to learn how to spend time alone. By doing so, they’d learn how to keep themselves entertained. When babies had enough of being held, turning their eyes away from you with arms pushing you away, take advantage of this and put her down on her own.

At roughly six to nine months old, babies become more aware of your facial expressions and actions. They pick up certain cues that will teach them how to behave in varying situations. This is the time when parents should behave in ways you want your toddler to follow when they grow up. A needy baby is a result of over-reacting parents who anxiously reacts to everything a baby might do no matter how remotely harmful it may be. Keep an eye on your baby and let them know everything is okay by reacting calmly to any minor mishaps. Do not freak out.

Let your baby cry a little. If she cries unreasonably, let her cry more. When it comes to unreasonable crying, I have my fair share of headaches with my baby Clarisse. She would cry when a toy is taken from her, getting out of her bathtub, fuss over bedtime or simply bored when I’m doing my chores. If you are going through the same thing, ignore your baby’s crying to a certain extent to let her get used to minor frustration. Be firm and let them know they should not cry over unreasonable demands.