After a full one month stay at my mother’s house, it’s time to say goodbye and Clarisse and I went back to our house. I have to admit, I’m slightly spoilt having my mom take care of me and Clarisse, in particular. And I’m feeling a bit nervous about having to care for Clarisse all by myself. After all, it will be a new experience for me and there’s a lot to be learnt when handling a one-month old infant.

The first day started out fine. Then come night time. Clarisse just refused to sleep during the night. My husband and I tried whatever we could - hours of nursing on sore nipples, rocking her in aching arms, walking all about the room on tired feet, singing lullabies till our throats get sore - to make her sleep. Just when we thought she dozed off, we slowly put her down on her baby cot. Before we could catch our breath, Clarisse would either wake up immediately or startle herself awake in a matter of minutes. This went on for at least 5 times and I nearly fainted due to fatigue. Finally, we gave up trying to make her sleep in her own baby cot and let her sleep next to us on our bed instead. Thank god, she stopped crying and slept. The time was 4am.

When I told my mom about our night ordeal the next day, we wondered if Clarisse sensed that she is sleeping on a different cot all of a sudden. Could that have made her uncomfortable? As for as I can tell, she wasn’t hungry. She didn’t poop. She’s wearing clean diapers. Her temperature is normal. The room felt comfortably cooling, not too cold and not too warm. So I’m guessing could it be that the new environment, the strange scent of the room and cot, made her feel out of place.

Infants are known to be capable of detecting odour better than adults. They use this sense to explore her world and get to know their momma better, particularly the unique scent of their mother’s breast milk before she’s even a week old.

Therefore, the next day, I tried to put some of my clothes on the baby cot and let Clarisse sleep on it so that she could smell her mommy’s ordour. It was my mother’s suggestion by the way. Hoping it would make her feel familiar and more secure. Well, she slept much better than the first night. She still wakes up occasionally thoughout the night but when I put her down on her cot after breastfeeding, she did not startle as easily or cry out load. It might be that momma’s scent made her feel much more secure. Whether it’s a coindence or not, it worked for me.

For the first two months, I struggled every night to make my baby sleep well. It was pretty stressful, honestly. Struggling to keep myself awake, or barely conscious to breastfeed her. Trying my best to coax her to sleep every few hours. It’s no surprised why some women fall victim to Post Natal Depression, really.

But slowly, I gathered useful tips and suggestions on how to make your baby sleep better at night. Some worked great, some worked just fine. Some were downright rubbish. Anyway, here’s a few tips that I found to have worked for me. Wait for ten to fifteen minutes to make sure your baby is in deep sleep. Then try these out and see whether you can successfully put down your baby on the cot:

• Make sure the mattress is high enough for you to easily put down your baby or use a cot substitute such as pram, bassinet or cradle. Make it easier for you to lift the baby in and out.
• If possible, buy a rockable cot so that you can continue the rocking sensation from your arm to the instance you put your baby down on the cot.
• Don’t just switch off all lights in the room, have at least a small baby light switched on for you to see clearly the way to the cot without stepping on something.
• Make sure the mattress is warm when you put down your baby. Cold sheets on warm cheeks can awaken your baby. Therefore, put a heating pad or a hot water bottle to roll all over the cot to make sure the bed is warm enough.
• Swaddling your baby or use a baby binder to wrap her arms together can keep him from being disturbed by his own startle reflex. Babies will easily get awaken when placed onto open space from a secure sleep in momma’s arm, especially when their arms flap out.
• I used to hypnotize Clarisse to sleep by singing “Rock A Bye Baby” and kept singing even after putting her down on her cot for a few moments afterwards. I’ll keep at it if she begin to toss and turn just to make sure she’s asleep.
• I would try to prepare the bed before I put Clarisse down the bed (If I forgot, I would ask my husband to do so). Juggling to make the bed with her in my arms is bound to disturb her sleep.

Clarisse started to have a better night’s sleep in her third month mainly because I started to feed her on my bed. I know it’s not a good idea to let the child sleep with her parents but this way is good for her and me to have a better night’s sleep. You’re strongly advised not to put a newborn next to you on your bed when you sleep though, bear it in mind.

These days, at nearly 6 months old, Clarisse goes to bed between 7.30pm and 8.30pm like clockwork. Sure, she still cries for milk 2 to 3 times a night, I would just feed her and she’ll continue sleeping through the night. Hopefully, by the time she is ready to eat more solids, it would reduce her need for night feeding even further.

It’s much more pleasant now that she has established a stable sleeping pattern. For instance, I have more time for myself earlier in the night to catch up on my blog.